SUM GRT STUFF

When God gave out brains,

I thought He said trains,

And I said I'd take the next one.

When God gave out looks,

I thought He said books,

And I didn't want any.

When God gave out noses,

I thought He said roses,

And I ordered a big one.

When God gave out legs,

I thought He said kegs,

So I ordered two fat ones.

When God gave out ears,

I thought He said beers,

So I ordered two long ones.

When God gave out chins,

I thought He said gins,

So I said, "Give me a double."

God, am I a mess!!

HOW WE LIVE IN MUMBAI
1. The Other Side Law:

If my side of the road has a traffic jam, then I can start driving on the wrong side of the road, and all incoming cars will be rerouted via Meerut.

2. The Queue Nahin Rule:

If there is a queue of many people, no one will notice me sneaking into the front as long as I am looking the other way.

3. The Mind Over Matter Law:

If a red light is not working, four cars from different directions can easily pass through one another.

4. The Auto Axiom:

If I indicate which way I am going to turn my vehicle, it is an information security leak.

5. The In Spit Of Thing:

The more I lean out of my car or bus, and the harder I spit, the stronger the roads become.

6. The Cinema Hall Fact:

If I get a call on my mobile phone, the film automatically goes into pause mode.

7. The Brotherhood Law:

If I want to win an argument, I need only to repeatedly suggest that the other person has illicit relations with his sister.

8. The Baraat Right:

When I'm on the road to marriage, all the roads in the city belong to me. To ME.

9. The Heart Of Things:

If I open enough buttons on my shirt, the pretty girl at the bus stop can see through my maldeformed chest into the depths of my soul.

10. The Name Game:

It is very important for the driver behind me to memorise the nicknames of my children.

11. Parking Up The Wrong Tree:

When I double-park my car, the road automatically widens so that the traffic is not affected.

12. The Chill Bill Move:

When I park and block someone else's car I am giving him a chance to pause, relax, chill and take a few moments off from his rushed day.

13. The Ogling Stare

If you don't ogle and drool at every hot Chic that passes by, you're gay.

14. The Bus Karo Law:

If I stop my bus at the correct place near the bus stop, the city will explode and blow into 6 million pieces.

15. The VIP Rule:

There are only 6 important persons in this city-Me, I, Myself, Main, Mainu, Assi.